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1. What Richard Bandler and Marilyn Monroe Understood Can Make You a Better Coach

by Judy Frabotta

"Only parts of us will ever touch only parts of others." Marilyn Monroe

In the early days of NLP,  Richard Bandler had a travelling road show of sorts. His free-style workshops were packed with all kinds of people - car salesmen, CIA operatives, cult deprogrammers, and the odd therapist, to name just a few of the people I encountered. The curriculum, geared to people already familiar with the basics, tended to be whatever was on Richard's mind - whatever puzzle he was trying to work out at the time. The week I attended, what Richard was working on was Parts.

Although much of what I learned about NLP has dropped into unconscious memory, the language and practice of Parts work has remained front and center.

  • "I really want to stop procrastinating, but Part of me just can't get into the game."
  • "Part of me really likes him, but Part of me is scared."
  • "Part of me wants to go to medical school, but another Part wants to write folk music."

The language of Parts belongs to our ordinary understanding of ourselves. Even the most casual self-examination reveals dozens of sub-personalities inside, some of whom may disagree quite vehemently with each other about who we are and what we are capable of. Some of our Parts are loud and dominant - others are fully formed but quiet and waiting to be engaged. Some Parts are disturbing and some are good at hiding. Here's how I use Parts with clients:

  1. Self-awareness. Parts work is a great tool for understanding and accepting internal contradictions. If a client has already told you that he is, say, an extravert, he is now free to tell you that Part of him has a strong need for alone time. We are never just one thing.
  2. Goal setting. Some clients flounder among conflicting goals and priorities. Helping them identify and name the Parts in conflict can spur a useful internal dialogue while acknowledging all aspects of the self. Goals formed with awareness of internal conflicts are less likely to be sabotaged by renegade Parts.
  3. Resource states. One of my clients wanted to get more comfortable giving talks. A self-described introvert, he expressed resistance to being exposed. On the other hand, he had a powerful message and an amazing personal story to back it up. He was articulate and warm. Inside, a  great speaker was waiting to be unleashed. As he prepared his next presentation, I asked him to imagine that he was writing a script for an character with a great public speaking persona. What would that character say? How would he deliver it? He enjoyed the creative exercise of creating a fictional character. When the time came to give the talk, he stepped fully into the role he had created. He smiled as he watched his closest colleague's jaw hit the floor. At that moment, he realized he was having fun. A Part was born.



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2. Cake, Coffee ... and Clients!


by Sue Leslie

If you're like me, you have prospects on your list whom you have never met – they signed up for your freebie, they get your newsletters and emails, but haven't yet bought any of your offerings, and so you can't put a face to the name. And neither can they with you! You can change all that by hosting a complimentary Coffee Morning for them.

Invite your prospects to come for coffee - and offer some home baking to seal the deal! Give them a coaching exercise to try, plus a creative activity to really engage them.

Apart from prospects on your list, you can also invite past clients, as well as other professionals in complementary fields (such as EFT). Let them know that they are welcome to bring along a friend or family member who might be interested in coaching too. I chose a weekend morning from 10:00-noon and had eleven people sign up.

First we completed a written coaching activity on the theme of gratitude to encourage a positive mindset. Then we made colourful Affirmation Cards using stamping, collage, and watercolour pencils. Everyone had such a great morning that they didn't want to leave – we ran 45 minutes over time! And I've had lots of positive feedback.

A Coffee Morning gives your prospects a chance to see how you work, and to see the value and benefits of coaching first-hand. They will also have some take-home reminders of the day – their Affirmation Cards and activity worksheets, plus I made them each a marketing pack including a Special Offer.

Afterwards, keep in touch with those who attended – they are much more likely to engage with you now that they have seen you in action! And include those who were invited but unable to come, so that they can see what they missed and will want to attend next time.

Some ideas for follow-up emails are: thank them for coming to your Coffee Morning; suggest uses for their Affirmation Cards; give them one of your recipes from the morning; remind them of their Special Offer and when it expires; and to let them know when you have posted pics of their cards (anonymously of course!) on your social media.

A Coffee Morning is a lovely event for you to offer because it will empower all those who attend. An increase in self-esteem is virtually automatic just from completing the creative activity! You are sharing your valuable coaching expertise, and that is an amazing gift you can always feel good about giving. You also get to practise your group coaching skills in a relaxed setting, and it gets your coaching message out there into the world. Total win-win all round!



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3. How to Have Fun and Freedom with Your Coaching NOW

by Puja Madan

Coaches are a unique breed, equal parts change-makers, guides, cheerleaders, creators and entrepreneurs. I developed an interest in coaching after I overcame a life challenge and wanted to support others facing the same issues. I know I'm not alone.

Creating a thriving coaching practice though can be overwhelming. The freedom, flexibility and fulfillment that drove us to start our coaching business can slip through our fingers as we struggle to find clients, manage our time and lose focus of our priorities

Here are four ways to start enjoying fun and freedom in your coaching practice right now:

1) Get crystal clear about your priorities. When we start the coaching program, I invite clients to work on an exercise called 'Your True North'. They look at their life from an aerial perspective and then break this down into short terms goals. Some questions that help them determine their True North are: what needs to be accomplished and experienced before they die? What legacy do they want to leave behind in their personal and professional lives? This exercise gives them crystal clarity about what's important and what's not. From this clarity about priorities, we can move onto the next step...

2) Master the art of saying no. When we know exactly what's important in the larger scheme of things, we can very easily say no to events, people and opportunities that don't align with our True North and life goals. I highly recommend learning the art of saying no. Let no be a complete sentence. Say it without apologies, explanations or justifications. Sometimes we get caught up with trying to defend or over-explain our feelings and decisions. It's ok to be gentle yet firm and direct. Remember these words by Gemma Stone: "Saying no to what deeply doesn't matter means you say yes to what does."

3) Create a powerful morning me-time ritual. Creating morning me-time rituals can help significantly in setting clear intentions and moving our energy forward with clarity and focus. This time allows us to connect with our inner self and set goals and intentions for the day. These rituals don't have to be complicated or time-consuming. Writing in your journal, a 10-minute meditation, a short walk, reading some affirmations, a quick dance, a cup of tea or coffee enjoyed leisurely are some examples. Tune in to see what practice you need to center yourself and prepare emotionally, mentally and energetically for the day to come. This will help with prioritizing and setting boundaries.

4) Reach out - offer and ask for support. Coaching can be a very rewarding life and career choice. Being able to help and empower others while designing a lifestyle and schedule you've dreamed of can be a very fulfilling experience. However it can also be very isolating to work from home and figure it out yourself. You're going to need support both personally and professionally. Schedule time to see friends and family often. Professionally, create a support system too. Find like-minded passionate professionals whose work complements yours and forge JV partnerships, start or join a mastermind where you have accountability and access to expertise and support. Trying to figure it all out on your own can suck the joy out of creating a thriving practice.

Where in your coaching are you feel stuck or challenged? Which of these can you start with right away?


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